I feel stuck right now; in life. 

I can’t make a living if I stay with my current spa. I love it there sooooo much and love everyone I work with, and love the products and services we have. 

But I might be moving south in a couple weeks, and I can’t go up north 4—6 days a week by transferring at least two busses for a PART TIME JOB. I simply can not afford to live this way. 

I’m wondering if I chose the right career path after all. I need something that can actually pay my bills. I’m thinking about bartending school so I could do that a couple nights a week closer to where I will be moving. I would gladly work at a coffee stand if only I had coffee experience. 

I thought I would finally have my career and wouldn’t have to keep looking around for side jobs. This blows. I just want a couple full work days with good pay and great tips so I can pay my rent and still make time for the people I love.

As of right now, I only have Fridays off, and I’m not even full time. Not to mention two days a week I watch my sister, meaning I can’t work elsewhere those two days. 

I have no idea what to do. 

But I think big changes might be happening for me. Hopefully good changes. 

(skip to second paragraph if you would like to bypass the mushy love story)

Starting from where I left off, Tyler and I enjoyed that Del Taco burrito and then cuddled the shit out of each other, if you know what I mean. we were snuggling up later on and were about to fall asleep. The lights were off so we couldn’t see anything in the room. My head was on his chest and his arm was around me. He kissed me on the forehead, ready to roll over and fall asleep. I stopped him and said I had wanted to tell him something and I was nervous to say it. “I’m falling in love with you”, was coming out of my mouth. Before my sentence was finished, he loudly announced “I LOVE YOU”, then went on to saying how he wanted to beat me to say it and didn’t know the right time. I told him I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, then we kissed :D Throughout the rest of the trip he kept reminding me how he feels. I’m so fucking happy! I haven’t been in love since Ethan. I had two major feelings other than this, but I haven’t felt a love like this since I was 17 and in love for the first time.

Sorry, back to Vegas. I’m just happy :D

The next day, Tyler’s dad made his famous chili with cornbread and my favorite pair, cinnamon buns! So yummy. Later on strip we had plans to catch the famous haunted house attraction known as “Goretorium” by the famous Eli Roth! E. Roth directed Hostel, and was also the “Bear Jew” in the movie Inglorious Bastards!!!! I bought a groupon for our tickets so they were half price. It literally was the best date we’ve had. You MUST check it out if you go. It’s a new tradition now! 

We lost about all of our money gambling, but mostly on booze. Lots and lots of booze… Actually we were probably drunk the entire 4 days. 

I just can’t even write everything down, it was just simply the perfect vacation, and just what I needed. 

Pictures will be posted as soon as I get my camera charger from Tyler when I see him next :D

So tonight in Vegas Tyler an I went out to brunch at the Pellazo or however you spell it. Idk I’m drunk. I had Asian nachos which were fucking amazing. Tyler and his dad talked me into them. WOW. then we split up and Tyler and I walked the strip until literally now so like 6 hours? Gambling,and lost all tge money i won, since i dont know when to stop, drinking a whole bottle of 1800 on the strip outside!!!! Awesome. And fucking around.
We saw the fountain show at the Bellagio twice! The lit up show was to that song that Will Ferrell sang in Step Brothers since I can’t remember the name.
We threw coins into a wish fountain and took pictures of the fake Eiffel Tower, and danced on the street to loud music.
We are currently munching on his favorite; Del Taco. Very fucking yummy.
Tomorrow it’s back to the strip! Nightclubbing :)
But to be honest…I really want to tell him that I love him. For the first time. … We may have only been official since March 1st, but I’ve been perusing this guy since the first week of November :) basically together the whole time.
I gotta say it…. I love him. I’m fucking happy so fuck off :D

You’re awesomeER. Love you :)

I have a feeling I know who you are.. But anywho, as a woman it is a Sa reality that we don’t always feel beautiful when are “bigger”. Trust me, I have sooo much respect and even envy for women who absolutely love themselves at any size. I wish I were one of those, because when I look at bigger girls, I definitely see them as beautiful.
It’s a shame I wasn’t one of them, but that’s just how it was for me.
I am finally happy with myself, and like I said, I don’t feel I Gould be ashamed for working hard for what I have, and loving myself now.
Better late than never!

Wow, I completely was not expecting a response like this. I am by no means skinny, and I really wish you weren’t anonymous so I knew if you actually know and see me in real life on a regular basis.
I am so unbelievably proud of myself for working hard to get in shape and live a healthier life. That is why I find no shame in taking a picture of myself after losing about 60 pounds.
I’m now at a healthy weight for my hight. I still have soooo much fun jelly to jiggle, cellulite, my thighs knock together when I walk, and absolutely zero bones of mine protrude. I NEVER hope to be skinny.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling skinny people gross, I just prefer womanly curves for myself, and I’m finally happy in my skin as a woman.
I get up at least 3 days a week at 7am to exercise, and I’m much better about making healthier food choices.
I’m showing improvement. Great improvement. And I’d hope that my personal success story (which shouldn’t be a shame to share) would only inspire someone to stop being sad or distraught about their bodies, and to inspire said people to take action if they are unhappy.

Beauty comes from within. Unfortunately not every girl feels beautiful on the outside. I was one of those people. So I worked hard to get where I am now.

If you are happy in your skin, FLAUNT IT, HONEY!!
And if you aren’t happy in your skin, take control of that!

I’m so sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way by showing my success story, but in all honesty, I really don’t see it as a bad thing, and it was absolutely never meant to put down or insult any body type.

I’m just working hard for myself.
I finally feel really good, and I’m not ashamed about that.
I hope you feel beautiful, no matter what. Don’t fix yourself for someone else’s opinion on your body type. Be sure to do things for you. Your opinion is the only one that should matter. :)

I hope that clears up anything negative!